I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
