I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
they're like a gay fantastic four
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
