New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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