I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
