this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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