she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
