I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
