You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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