plz talk dirty to me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
