You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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