Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
