Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
