we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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