I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
