So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize