i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
