There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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