Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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