halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
