its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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