He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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