We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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