i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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