there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
