WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Someone came in the potted fern
Randomize
