Christians are straight up FREAKS
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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