Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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