Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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