what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
