I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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