He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
