I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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