This girl is more easily done than said...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
