he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
