So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
