I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
