am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
