i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
