Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
