I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
