if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
