Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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