p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
