i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
