i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
