I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
