Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she told me i tasted like america
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
