I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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