I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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