Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
