is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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