a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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