dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
